Blame: a powerless position

Pointing the finger of blame automatically removes any power you may have had to improve your situation. Consider this, placing blame on others is a lot more about ditching personal responsibility, than it is about giving credit where credit is due. If you avoid blaming others, then you allow yourself to keep some power to make changes. If something or someone is negatively impacting your life, you have the power to do something about it right up until the point that you blame them for causing your problems.

[EXPAND Read More]For example, there is a difference between someone who says, "Sally is driving me crazy," and someone who says, "My choice to continue to associate with Sally is driving me crazy."

The first statement has no power. Sally will most likely continue to cause problems and there's nothing that will change that. The second statement not only retains power and doesn't place blame, it also hints at a possible solution.

If you assume that you can't change others (a very safe assumption), then the only option for change is to change your own thoughts and behaviors. The second statement lands the responsibility of Sally driving me crazy straight on my shoulders. Sally is Sally. She will, likely, continue to do what ever it is that drives me crazy. I have two choices, I can remove Sally from my life, or choose to think differently about her actions.

Taking personal responsibility about the effect other people have on us seems counter intuitive, but it is the only thought process in which you can do anything. Its the difference between, "He made me mad," and "He is an idiot and I chose to be mad about it."[/EXPAND]

 

Why do we vilify?

Im pretty sick of all this finger pointing. I'm not sure if I'm just getting older and seeing things differently or if things are getting worse, but there is a lot of blame out there. There seems to be a shift away from personal responsibility for our actions. The thing that is really concerning is that there seems to be pipers leading the children out of the cities.Politicians and media gate keepers on both sides of the donkey/elephant fence are pulling the same blame game that Hitler and Stalin did.

See if this formula sounds familiar:

  1. The citizens of a country are not happy with their personal economic situations
  2. Some opportunist identifies a minority or unpopular easily identifiable group of people as the source of the problem
  3. As the flames of blame burn brighter, the general population begins to blindly follow whomever is telling them that their problems are not their fault
  4. The people's guilt is reduced as they're told more and more propaganda
  5. Groups of people are rounded up, interned, silenced, tortured, and/or killed.

While this seems extreme, Hilter didn't come out and say, "People of Germany, let's kill millions of Jews!" in his first speech. It was the evil course his rise to power took. He started with, "your problems are not your fault, look at this group of people who've managed their money well, it's their fault."

Think about what people nowadays say about liberals, conservatives, immigrants, Christians, smokers, fat people, the rich, the poor... Could it be that the animosity that you may feel towards any of these groups is really just a way for you to avoid the cold hard reality that you caused most of the problems you're dealing with right now? If you've made terrible financial choices and lived your life with a buy-now-pay-later reckless abandon and you wake up and find yourself massively in debt and unable to pay your bills... It isn't the rich guy's fault.

Deal with your problems, blaming the gay guy, black guy, white guy, poor guy, rich guy... doesn't solve your problem. At best, you gather a bunch of people to join you in placing blame and you still haven't done anything to help yourself.

The Coward's Blame Game

The only things in this life that you can control are your thoughts and your actions. Blaming others is a powerless move. When we choose to blame others for our problems, we have decided that the solution is outside of our control and we can't do anything about it. This is a place of no action and a place of no power. It doesn't matter that you can convince others of your opinion or that you feel justified because those around you agree that you've been wronged. The blame game makes you a victim. You'll see the world as a victim and try to get others to sympathize with your victimization. You have become a victim.What does this have to do with work or creativity? Well, for one, no one wants to work with a victim who constantly complains. People want to work with those that are confident and inspire others. Also, if you're telling stories of clients, employers and coworkers offending you, you are talking to potential clients, employers and coworkers. People don't like walking in eggshells. Presenting yourself as fragile bad for business.