Hidden Ad Copy: Pizza Day

I'm in the middle of creating a POP counter top display. [EDIT: see some shots of the finished product] The following copy is found on the inside flap of this display, where, after its folded up, will be hidden. "I used to love Pizza day in elementary school. I think it was on Tuesdays. The best thing about Pizza Day, was the idea of Pizza Day, because the actual pizza wasn’t really that good. Let’s be honest, it was terrible watered down cardboard with a smattering of cheese and tomato paste. I’m not even sure if it had any nutritional value at all. In fact, it is probably known to cause cancer in the state of California. I bet if you left a cardboard box out in the rain until it was good and soaked and then mashed it up, covered it in a little ketchup and baked it in the oven for a few minutes... it would probably taste the same as the stuff they served on Pizza Day in school. I think you’d have to use the oven, because the microwave would just make it soggier. I bet there’s a place in town that makes really good pizza and I bet its not the school cafeteria. If you’ve bothered to read this and you’ve purchased some Teton Guitars from us, you deserve good pizza. If you’re one of the first 5 dealers to call us up and tell us that you’d like some good pizza, we’ll buy you a pie. How’s that for customer service? Now go sell some Teton Guitars!"

I'll be honest, I'm going to be pretty dang excited if anyone actually calls me up. Pizza and t shirts, these are the secrets of marketing.